She doesn’t ask for permission to be herself because she’s done the work to get comfortable in her own skin. She knows herself and doesn’t spend time trying to prove her worthiness in the world. She’s kind, generous, loving, and wise. You know you can trust her to be honest with you because she doesn’t have anything to lose. She values authenticity and connection and will support you in becoming your best self. These are just some of the many ways you can spot an empowered woman.
1. You don’t have to guess what she’s feeling, she’ll tell you
Withholding and playing games just aren’t her cup of tea. She may have had those tendencies at some point in her life, but now she can be authentic and express her emotions as they come up. She’s not perfect and she doesn’t try to be. As a woman who’s explored her own mind and inner landscape, she understands her feelings and wants to express them in a healthy way.
You know you’re communicating with an empowered woman because she doesn’t expect you to guess what she’s feeling, and she also doesn’t expect you to save her from her own emotions. She’s comfortable taking ownership for her feelings, and at the same time knows she is worthy of having support and someone to talk to.
When you enter into relationship with an empowered woman, she’ll communicate at a certain level of depth and invite you to do the same. If you hold back, she’ll know it, and that behavior will never work for her long term because she looks at relationships as a container for growth. She understands that building friendships and partnerships are based on trust, and having trust means being able to express your emotions with one another safely.
2. She triggers you
Every once in a while, you meet a woman that can excite you, spark curiosity, and also trigger you to your very core. Strong women have a way of shining light on our unhealed parts that are asking for our attention. You may have the experience of being fully seen in her presence because she can’t be fooled by masks, she sees through you to your heart. This isn’t a woman you can hide your emotions from.
When you’re in the presence of an empowered woman she won’t always tell you what you want to hear. She’ll call you out when she sees you slipping into a place that doesn’t serve you . When you ask for her advice, she’ll give you honest feedback even if it triggers you because she cares about you becoming the best version of yourself. For this reason, even though she triggers you, she’s one of the best friends you could ask for.
3. She’s ok being in her mess
When life gets messy she doesn’t waste her energy pretending everything is rainbows and unicorns. She’s come to know there is always something to learn in her moments of pain, anger, frustration or brokenness. She runs towards the lessons life has to offer her with trust and confidence that she’ll end up exactly where she needs to be, and when she feels like the world is crashing around her she doesn’t isolate but rather, she reaches out for support from the ones she loves and trusts.
She’ll let you be with her in her painful moments. This woman will let you see her tears, she will show you her anger, she will sit with her sadness. She knows that darker emotions are part of her humanness. She’s been through hard times and come out the other side. These experiences show her what she’s made of.
The great thing about being friends with an empowered woman is that because she’s comfortable with her own darkness, she’ll be able to accept you in your own mess. She’s a safe person to be yourself with. In fact, she’ll love you more for it. You can cry with her, feel your anger, express dark thoughts without judgement and ask for what you need because she’s able to be with your process without taking it on herself.
4. She’s made friends with her anger
Anger is an emotion that women have been told they’re not supposed to feel in our culture. The media portrays angry women in a negative light. There’s a blanket of “niceness and beauty” projected onto the way women “should” behave in our society, so an empowered woman has to work on herself to not only connect with, but accept and embrace her own anger. Every human being has the capacity to feel anger, and every human does, but many of us reject that it exists within us.
Women especially can have a more difficult time making friends with their anger because of the way society treats women who express their emotions. Just look at politics for example. When a male politician expresses anger or strong energy, he’s called brave, told he has balls, or touted as an alpha. A woman however, will more likely be subject to accusations that she is crazy, unstable, imbalanced, or unfit for leadership due to her wild and chaotic emotions.
An empowered woman has broken free from societal suppression and met her anger in a way that empowers her rather than causes her more problems in her life. She knows that finding healthy ways to express her anger rather than letting it bottle up until she explodes is a much more balanced way to live. She doesn’t use anger as a weapon against herself or others, and a big part of that is her ownership of her anger, not denial.
5. She has clear boundaries
Like any woman with clear boundaries, the empowered woman has likely had to work very hard to create boundaries for herself that keep her in alignment with her highest good. She’s learned how to honor her no and equally as important; she’s learned how to connect with her yes. She’s developed a connection between her body and mind and allows her own internal wisdom to be her compass in daily life.
This woman has explored her likes, her dislikes, her wants and her needs. She knows what she needs to feel safe, loved, secure, and in her power and as such, her boundaries are a reflection of her own self-love. She is neither too rigid or narrow with her boundaries, and rather she has a deep sense of self-trust that allows her to be flexible and go with the flow in life without feeling guilt or wallowing in self-blame when she needs to make changes or adjustments to her own plan.
She’ll be able to look you in the eyes and say no without feeling the need to give you a reason, and you can appreciate that if she says yes, she means it. A woman with strong boundaries takes out the guess work for you. You can trust her with whatever comes up because she takes responsibility for how her life will look.
6. She lets herself play
An empowered woman can surrender to her lover, let loose and have fun with her tribe and enjoy the sweetness in every moment. While she may have a serious side or an intensity to her that can be intimidating, this woman is uninhibited and free. She’s playful and knows how to let go and dance, or be wild and silly when she’s in the mood for play.
She’s connected to the feminine energy within her that calls for laughter, silliness and joy. She doesn’t prevent herself from happiness or receiving pleasure in her life because she knows she’s fully worthy and deserving of all of the good things, people, and beauty in her life.
7. She is open to feedback
She’s never done growing or becoming better. This woman is likely involved in some form of personal growth work, shadow work or inner child work and likely relishes in opportunities to improve her communication and relating skills.
She’s open to constructive feedback from the people who are important to her and she wants to know how to be a better friend, partner, or colleague.
She understands there is great power in learning how to connect with others and knows that sometimes she has blind spots. When she makes a mistake, hurts your feelings or triggers you, she is not only open to feedback, but she’s expecting it. She’s on a path of self-discovery and is able to receive your feedback without automatically taking it on. She can admit when she has areas she needs to work on or apologize when she messes up, but she won’t spend time living with regrets or beating herself up over the past. She’s not perfect and that’s never been her goal, she simply sees her mistakes as opportunities to heal not only herself, but with those who she interacts with in good and bad times.
8. She makes time to be alone
Alone time is often a scarce resource in our society and many of us can find endless ways to distract ourselves. This woman knows how valuable alone time is. She finds the space to ground in her own energy and check in with herself. She cherishes this time to be alone with herself and because she has strong boundaries, she makes sure that solo time is part of her self-care routine.
Rather than constantly seeking external validation, needing people to be around all the time or waiting for other people to get on board for the things she wants to do, she’ll happily spend a day on her own. She can enjoy a meal at her favorite restaurant or take a walk in the company of only herself and truly enjoy it.
It’s not that she doesn’t appreciate and at times even crave companionship, she absolutely does. However, she equally enjoys being on her own and connecting with herself. She finds alone time freeing. It’s the time when she only answers to herself and does exactly what she wants without compromise.
9. She has her own life
Having a deep-connection to self means this woman has also taken the time to create a loving tribe that surrounds her. While she may come to you for certain comforts inside of your relationship, she doesn’t rely on you to be her everything. She has her own friends, desires, goals and ambitions. She doesn’t need you, she wants you and that’s what makes a relationship with an empowered woman so beautiful.
When you’re with her you know she’s choosing you because she genuinely enjoys being with you. You never have to wonder if you’re just “filling space” in her life because she doesn’t need the space to be filled. She’d rather be alone than sell herself out.
She doesn’t expect you or anyone else to be her source of happiness or fulfillment in life. As such, the relationships she has in her life are deep and meaningful and most importantly; real. While she has a take-no-shit attitude, she is also forgiving and loving of you in your human moments. She doesn’t expect you to fit some fantasy ideal of a perfect partner or friend that is all too often portrayed in Hollywood.
She won’t take it personally or be upset if you choose to spend one-on-one time catching up with a friend without her and she supports your need for personal space or time to pursue your own goals that are individual to you. She believes a healthy relationship consists of two whole people who strive to fulfill their purpose in life and work together to support each other in becoming better.
10. She Empowers Other Women
Whether it’s through her service in the community, her way of being, speaking or writing, she’ll always be a champion for other women rising into their potential.
She’s not afraid to take a stand when she’s passionate about a cause so she’ll surely have a reputation for ruffling a few feathers. Because she carries a confidence about her, some will mistake her for arrogant and the reality is that she cares more about helping others see their inner light than she does about the judgements that are passed upon her in the process.
This woman has likely participated in or runs women’s groups, sisterhood circles, enjoys reading conscious books, and wants to share what she’s learning with women in her life. She takes healing herself seriously. She’s a safe person to go to when you’re down in the dumps and you can count on her to give you solid advice. She isn’t in this life to drift around aimlessly but rather she carries a sort of fiery passion that ignites her to lead and empower others. She sees other women as allies, not enemies and she gave up wasting her energy on female competition long ago. You can trust she’s got your back and wants to see you succeed in your life, your relationships and with your family.
Perhaps the most true sign of an empowered woman is that she is human like anyone else, and knows that she knows not much at all. She’s here to learn how to love herself, be a better human and make a positive impact in the world. She’s messed up, said the wrong thing, made mistakes and experienced negative thoughts. Instead of staying locked in victim mode, she’ll do whatever it takes to get the lessons from her experiences and make the changes necessary to live a purposeful life.