By Astrologer, Eden Wine | IG: @EdenAlexWine
Graduate of Our Mystic Astrology Apprenticeship Program
Relationships act as teachers, bringing forward both our deepest desires and highlighting the wounds that hold us back.
The natal chart contains markers that highlight our relational “lesson plan,” helping us understand how to grow and develop through relationships.
(Note: In astrology free will always reigns and there is always room to transmute and alchemize our challenges. Chart aspects offer insight into areas that might need healing or development but we are not stuck with them)
So yes, we can see relationship challenges in the birthchart, yet we can work with them to bring them to light and heal them.
By working consciously with these chart aspects, we can build more resilient, fulfilling connections that align with our truest selves. So, let’s look at some common natal chart markers of relationship growing edges.
Here’s the aspects in the natal chart that can indicate struggles in relationships:
1. Challenging Aspects Between Venus and Saturn (Square or Opposition)
Themes: Fear of Vulnerability; Potential Blocks in Self-Worth
When Venus, the planet of love and connection, forms challenging aspects to Saturn, the planet of discipline and restriction, we may experience a sense of inhibition in love. This can manifest as a fear of vulnerability, difficulty in expressing affection, or a tendency to feel unworthy of the love we desire.
There may be an overarching sense that nothing we do is good enough, leading to a habit of trying to fix what isn’t broken. Saturn’s influence can add a ‘weight’ to Venus, creating a barrier between ourselves and others, leading to relationship struggles if left unaddressed.
When we experience blocks in self worth or a fear of vulnerability, there are a number of remedies we can implement to grow our confidence and gain emotional mastery.
Embracing the genius and gifts of challenging planets is where the most potent solutions reside:
Saturn’s energy teaches us to set boundaries that affirm our worth rather than restrict connection. This highlights the importance of giving ourselves permission to say no when needed, and to remind ourselves that boundaries are acts of self-love.
Taking a slow and gentle approach in holding space for ourselves is also very useful. We can start sharing ourselves vulnerably in small ways with trusted friends and loved ones, developing the muscle that teaches us that it’s safe to be ourselves and that it’s safe to be vulnerable.
Reflection & Contemplation:
– “Where do I feel most guarded in relationships, and why?”
– “What early experiences have shaped my beliefs about love and my worthiness to receive it?”
– “How can I redefine vulnerability as a source of strength rather than risk?”
Building a deep sense of self-worth and learning to hold space for yourself with compassion takes guidance and support. In our Freedom from Relationship Anxiety program, we focus on practices that help you create this inner foundation, so you can feel truly safe and grounded in love. Learn more here.
2. Mars in Hard Aspect to Venus or the Moon (Square or Opposition)
Themes: Passion over Harmony, Challenge of Emotional Reactivity
Mars, the planet of action and drive, when in hard aspects to Venus or the Moon can create a dynamic where passion and harmony clash. When these energies collide, it often creates a feeling of ‘push and pull’ between a strong drive to express ourselves boldly and directly, while simultaneously craving connection that feels harmonious and stable.
When we are operating reactively to this internal dynamic, our emotions and actions can feel at odds, leading us to express ourselves impulsively. This tension can, also, lead to inner conflict or relational friction, as we may feel torn between expressing ourselves fully and maintaining a stable, harmonious bond. Navigating this energy often involves us finding ways to balance assertiveness with openness, allowing room for both passion and harmony to coexist in healthy and supportive ways.
Since Mars’ energy can be impulsive, engaging in a regular breathwork practice can help develop greater emotional regulation, making it easier to pause before reacting. Another way to navigate this energy is by becoming a strong observer of our experience so that we can learn to understand triggers and patterns that arise, and hold space for our feelings without reacting automatically. Clarity is key when addressing reactivity.
Reflection & Contemplation:
– “When do I notice myself reacting impulsively, especially with those I love?”
– “How do I balance my need for independence with my desire for closeness?”
– “Where can I bring more patience into my relationships?”
REGISTER FOR OUR FREE ‘HEALING RELATIONSHIP ANXIETY’ WORKSHOP…
3. The Presence of Chiron in the 7th House or in Aspect to Venus or the Moon
Theme: Fearing Being Hurt in Partnership, Fear of Rejection or Abandonment
Chiron represents the “wounded healer,” and when it is in the 7th house of partnerships or its aspecting Venus or the Moon, it can highlight deep emotional wounds around relationships. These placements may indicate fears of rejection, patterns of self-sacrifice, or a tendency to attract partners who trigger past hurts. This is often a sign of a need for inner healing before we can experience harmonious external relationships.
With Chiron comes great wisdom in teaching us the gifts that we are meant to learn and give back to the world. How we learn to navigate and heal our wounds offers the inspiration to teach others to step into their strength and resilience as well.
The guiding light in working with Chiron is to connect intimately and deeply with ourselves. Learning that relationship wounds with Chiron often stem from early experiences gives context to its root. Connecting with our inner child, therefore, can help foster a relationship with ourselves that releases past hurts relating to our relational dynamics. It is important for us to honour our emotional journey by learning that we can re-parent ourselves, be our greatest advocate, and fill ourselves up with love from the inside-out.
Reflection & Contemplation:
– “What relationship patterns seem to repeat, and what wounds might they be asking me to heal?”
– “How can I show compassion for the parts of me that fear rejection or abandonment?”
– “What strengths have emerged from my healing journey so far?”.
4. 7th House Saturn or Pluto
Theme: Power Dynamics, Need to Control, and Fear of Dependency
Saturn or Pluto in the 7th house of partnerships can indicate a need to understand how we share power in our relationships without fearing losing ourselves. With this aspect it’s important for us to recognize personal boundaries and ensure that each partner’s voice and autonomy are respected. It’s also important to learn to be accountable for our actions, emotions, and contributions within the relationship – including, being aware of how our words, actions, and behaviour impact the other person. In essence, we are learning to own and be responsible for our mistakes and coping mechanisms.
Saturn’s influence in the 7th house can create a tendency to approach relationships carefully or even skeptically. There may be a hesitation to fully open up because of the fear that the relationship won’t last. Ultimately, Saturn in the 7th teaches us to create partnerships with strong foundations. The goal is to cultivate a healthy balance where boundaries are respected, responsibilities are shared, and trust is built over time.
Pluto’s influence in the 7th house can bring up issues around control. This may show up as a need to have control over the direction of the relationship or a fear of losing power within the partnership. With Pluto, relationships may feel destined or transformative, but they can also involve intense emotional challenges that push us toward self-awareness and healing. The connection may not always be easy, but it holds the potential for profound personal evolution.
Saturn and Pluto call for introspection. They invite us to spend time regularly reflecting on how we approach our responsibility and power within relationships. With these aspects we are invited to master the art of openness and self-responsibility so that we can create healthy relationships based on mutual respect, commitment, and balance.
Reflection & Contemplation:
– “How do I view responsibility and power within relationships? Do I feel balanced in these dynamics?”
– “What beliefs or fears do I hold around partnership, and how do they affect my relationships?”
– “How can I approach relationships with both commitment and ease?”
5. Hard Aspects Between the Sun and Moon
Theme: Inner Conflict, Push-Pull Dynamic Between Self and Relationships
The Sun represents our core self, while the Moon reflects our emotional needs. When these two luminaries are in hard aspect with one another, there’s often a feeling of struggle between asserting our independence and fulfilling our emotional needs within partnership. This can create a dynamic that leaves us feeling misunderstood or unsatisfied.
The invitation here is for us to learn how to honour both our core self and our emotional needs. There is a matrix in which we can experience both in harmony. The first step to navigating this dynamic is awareness and self-observation. When we can identify our patterns, we can anticipate and work with these tendencies, finding balance and wholeness within. When we feel the urge to push away or cling, we can learn to be gentle with ourselves, reminding ourselves that these instincts are natural and often tied to self-protection. Cultivating compassion allows us to meet these feelings with understanding, making it possible to find balance, wholeness, and fulfillment.
Reflection & Contemplation:
– “Where do I feel conflicted between my needs and my identity?”
– “How can I cultivate harmony between my personal desires and my relational needs?”
– “What does wholeness mean to me, both as an individual and in a relationship?”
It’s Time to Embrace Growth with Compassion
I want to reiterate that these challenging aspects in the natal chart are not blocks to happiness or definitive cornerstones to which you must concede —they are gateways to self-awareness and empowerment. By understanding these placements, we’re given a map to engage with our patterns consciously, bringing healing, clarity, and understanding into our relationships.
While each of these challenging aspects in the natal chart may highlight areas for growth, they don’t have to be blocks to happiness. Instead, they serve as gateways to self-awareness and empowerment, offering you a map to bring healing, clarity, and understanding to your relationships.
In our Freedom from Relationship Anxiety program, we work with you to understand and heal these patterns on a deeper level. On this 6 week journey, we’ll help you rewire your nervous system, address core wounds, and develop emotional mastery to build strong, secure, and fulfilling connections.
If you’re ready to transform how you show up in love, join the waitlist here and take the first step toward a more empowered, resilient version of yourself.
Final Reflection & Contemplation:
– “What can I do to foster a sense of balance, both within myself and in my connections with others?”
– “How can I practice compassion as I navigate relationship challenges?”
– “What does it look like to feel empowered and whole, both alone and with others?”
Remember that relationships mirror our growth. They are sacred spaces where we learn, transform, and evolve. Trust that every challenge is an invitation to dive deeper into yourself, discovering your capacity for love, resilience, and true connection.
REGISTER FOR OUR FREE ‘HEALING RELATIONSHIP ANXIETY’ WORKSHOP….
