What a Woman Wants… (Poem)

Some mornings when I wake up and all I want to do is travel the world,
to live in a little hut on the beach that’s all mine
to be single and free forever, just a wanderlusting nomad.

Or maybe I would have my lover there, passionately adoring every inch of my body and soul.

We could be free together, lusting around the globe with a camera and a loaded bank account.

Yes, that sounds nice.

Some days I wake up and all I want to do is build businesses.

To take on the world and make history with my inventions.

To become the most influential female philanthropist of our time.

Some days what I want is to be a wife and a mother.

To be completely in my feminine and allow a man just take care of all the “life stuff” so I can be creative all day, play in my garden, feed and nurture my family.

To sing to my babies, to rise with them in the night and guide them through life.

Ahhh yes, that sounds so nice.

And really, I think I’m just like a lot of women in this sense.

We want it all.

Passion, pleasure, safety, security, freedom.

We are coming and going, sometimes all at once.

We want a man to sweep us off our feet, to provide for us and make love to us.
(For those of us who like men, word up to my lady loving sisters)

And then the next week our cycles shift and all of a sudden we want to be globe trotters or fire spinners and there’s the don’t you touch me, I want to be alone phase.

It’s all ok.

Maybe we just have to remember we can have it all in a round about way.

It doesn’t have to be this or that, it can be an all encompassing experience here on this fine little planet we’re sharing.

Life is meant to be lived fully, not half way.

Some days I feel obligated to do things I don’t really want to do to prove my independence or earn my place in the world.

There are society’s expectations of me creeping in, so who am I without all of that?

There’s a process to uncovering my true desires.

Sometimes everything has to fall away before what I really want becomes clear.

And then, once I have what I thought I wanted, something switches and I realize I can have more, I can create more, I am worth more.

Sometimes, what I thought I wanted was really just a protection mechanism.

Because if I could have “all of that”, what if I were to lose it? Better just not ask.

Then I receive something, or attract someone, or experience something deeply and I realize I’ve been holding back.

On comes the upgrade. A jolt, or a wake up call, something “hard”.

A reminder to step up to the plate and consciously create beyond my wildest imagination, because even that is just the beginning of what I’m capable of.

And this goes for you too. You can have whatever your heart desires.

Sometimes our manifestations come in different forms than we originally intended, and that’s just how the universe works.

But it is always in motion, so keep creating, keep living, dreaming, desiring, and manifesting.

You’re so worth it.

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Sheleana is a writer, mentor, and women's work facilitator in Vancouver, BC. She is a certified breathwork facilitator and trained full-spectrum doula offering full-spectrum abortion, miscarriage, pregnancy and birth support to women and couples. Sheleana is passionate about working 1-1 with women on Conscious Relationship, Childhood Wounds and the Mother Wound and occasionally co-leads workshops in her area. She draws on her own life experience, years of personal study, and continual in person training as a teachers assistant under Transpersonal Therapist and Teacher, Phil Mistlberger. You'll find Sheleana in just a few places: cuddled up at home with her partner, in Conscious Relationship Training and Shadow Work Therapy Chambers, and for breakfast and bookstore dates with her best friend and co-facilitator, Heather.
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