If You’ve Ever Lost Someone, Remember This One Thing

If you ever feel like you’ve lost someone, remember you never had them to begin with. Love does not mean possession.

Have you ever had an experience that was really painful and then down the road come to realize that without that experience, you wouldn’t be as happy as you are right in this moment?

What about the relationship that ended with a person you weren’t ready to let go of.

And maybe now you’re laying next to someone you’re madly in love with who you wouldn’t have otherwise ended up with?

Future pace yourself to that moment, be in it now.

In your moments of pain or uncertainty, ask yourself, when has my pain ever led me off path?

Perhaps it’s like Rumi says:

“Sorrow prepares you for joy. It violently sweeps everything out of your house, so that new joy can find space to enter. It shakes the yellow leaves from the bough of your heart, so that fresh, green leaves can grow in their place. It pulls up the rotten roots, so that new roots hidden beneath have room to grow. Whatever sorrow shakes from your heart, far better things will take their place.” – Rumi

All we have is each moment to be fully expressed, love fully, and to accept others for who they are.

You cannot lose what isn’t yours. What you can own is your experience, your lessons.

Embrace those lessons with a full and open heart. Set your sights on living an abundant life full of joyful memories, pleasure and moments of ecstasy.

When you’re living this way, you can experience happiness 99% of the time, even when you’re in solitude. Sometimes especially when you’re in solitude.

Don’t be afraid to take a step towards something because you’re afraid you’ll lose it, because you’ll never truly have it anyways.

This is all just an experience, perhaps even a training, before we transcend to the next level, who knows where we go next?

This material world, and all of us in it, we’re all just an illusion. Just like time.

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Sheleana is a writer, mentor, and women's work facilitator in Vancouver, BC. She is a certified breathwork facilitator and trained full-spectrum doula offering full-spectrum abortion, miscarriage, pregnancy and birth support to women and couples. Sheleana is passionate about working 1-1 with women on Conscious Relationship, Childhood Wounds and the Mother Wound and occasionally co-leads workshops in her area. She draws on her own life experience, years of personal study, and continual in person training as a teachers assistant under Transpersonal Therapist and Teacher, Phil Mistlberger. You'll find Sheleana in just a few places: cuddled up at home with her partner, in Conscious Relationship Training and Shadow Work Therapy Chambers, and for breakfast and bookstore dates with her best friend and co-facilitator, Heather.
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