A Letter to Single Humans Looking for Love

Love someone who puts you first.

Love someone who opens their heart to you and lets you know it’s safe to be yourself.

Love someone who is proud to be with you, someone who gushes when they talk about you, who wants to hold your hand when you walk down the street.

Love someone who thinks you are enough just as you are. It’s natural to see potential in our partners, to expect growth and transformation, but be with someone who thinks who you are right now is amazing.

Love someone who is always developing themselves so you can grow together rather than apart.

Love someone who respects themselves, they will know what it means to respect you too.

Love someone who knows that relationships aren’t easy, there are ups and downs.

Love someone who values your time and shows up for you.

Love someone who says “fuck game playing”, someone who will call you just because and tell you how they really feel.

Love someone who will relax with you and give you their undivided attention once in a while.

Someone who will go into a bubble with you every now and then, and remind you how important you are to them.

Love someone who wants to discover new ways to make you feel appreciated. Relationships die when a partner stops trying. So be with someone who is always invested in your love.

Love someone who loves themselves. They know the importance of self-care and will expect the same from you.

Love someone who tells you the truth, even if it’s inconvenient for them or hard to swallow.

Love someone who isn’t afraid to reach new heights of intimacy. Everyone has blocks, there’s no such thing as a person without baggage, but be with someone who is ready to break through those walls with you, someone who’s ready to let you in.

Love someone who challenges you, to be a better person, to open your heart more, to trust more, to go deeper. Romantic partners are our mirrors, they reflect back to us some of the darkest parts of ourselves, and also the lightest.

Love someone who can hold space for you when you’re triggered, and asks you to do the same.

Love someone who knows that it’s ok to feel attractions towards other people, but values your love more than an initial chemical hit from the chase of someone new.

Love someone who takes responsibility for their own life, their reactions, and their responses. Couples fight, but when both people start to realize they are each others mirrors, empathy and compassion are amplified and the bond is strengthened ten fold.

Love someone who can forgive you. You’re going to make mistakes, say things you don’t mean, you’re going to mess up once in a while.

Love someone you can forgive. Your partner is not perfect. They will have flaws, they will annoy you, be insensitive at times, or do things that hurt you unintentionally.

Relationships aren’t about being perfect and keeping a clean slate or a score card. Be with someone who you can forgive, someone who possesses so much light that you can’t be bothered to focus on their darkness.

Be with someone who you can be yourself with. When we’re younger, we think sexual attraction and passion are the most important things, though as you grow into yourself, you begin to realize that having someone who you can truly feel comfortable with is one of the most important things.

Chemistry is important, but if that’s all you’ve got, your relationship is doomed.

Chemistry can be cultivated, sexual passion can be sparked, so be with someone who you can have good conversations with, someone you can trust, someone who you know will always have your back.

Love someone who knows there is freedom inside of partnership. Someone who has experienced relationship failures and knows what it takes to make it work. Someone who thinks you’re worth it.

Love someone who communicates with you. Bottling up resentments or having unmet needs over a long period of time can lead to relationship failure.

Be with someone who can tell you when they’re upset, ask you for what they need, and wants to know what you need to feel safe and loved too.

Be with someone who understands that relationships are here to teach us. Someone who isn’t going to run away at the first sign of trouble.

Be with someone who is ready to embark on one of the hardest, most beautiful, most painful, sometimes most challenging, and most rewarding journeys with you in love.

Someone who knows that you are the one they want to do life with.

Don’t chase perfection or a fairytale romance, you’ll always be disappointed.

Instead, love someone who even with all of their human flaws, makes you want to love them with every ounce of your being.

True love is only rare these days because we walk around with shields on our hearts and trust issues from our past.

Choose someone who inspires you to let all of that old shit go, and let love in.

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by
Sheleana is a writer, mentor, and women's work facilitator in Vancouver, BC. She is a certified breathwork facilitator and trained full-spectrum doula offering full-spectrum abortion, miscarriage, pregnancy and birth support to women and couples. Sheleana is passionate about working 1-1 with women on Conscious Relationship, Childhood Wounds and the Mother Wound and occasionally co-leads workshops in her area. She draws on her own life experience, years of personal study, and continual in person training as a teachers assistant under Transpersonal Therapist and Teacher, Phil Mistlberger. You'll find Sheleana in just a few places: cuddled up at home with her partner, in Conscious Relationship Training and Shadow Work Therapy Chambers, and for breakfast and bookstore dates with her best friend and co-facilitator, Heather.
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