Women: Remember This When Choosing a Partner


Sunday, January 31st, 2016

We want to be with men who keep us powerful.

Choosing a partner is serious business, not to be taken lightly.

It is not enough to simply be in a relationship for the sake of not being alone.

It is not ok to suppress your desires or “need less” to suit someone who isn’t willing or able to meet your needs.

You want someone who only has eyes for you, who wants to see his woman in her power.

If he needs to knock you down or pushes you into a state of helplessness, desperation or neediness, he is not ready for you.

Do not let anyone knock you down from your castle, you are a Queen and you deserve to remain as such.

Do not accept behavior that leaves you feeling less than supported.

You deserve to be respected, adored.

You deserve to be chased. Stop chasing any man who selectively chooses you.

Stop chasing any man who refuses to make you a priority or lets you down.

If he wants you, he will show up for you. He will make sacrifices, just like you would, for the one he loves.

Be with someone who chooses you every day. Who picks up their phone when you call, who genuinely wants to support you on your mission.

Be with a man who loves how powerful you are, who isn’t threatened by your independent and outgoing nature.

And by the way, remember that your man will be and is just as deserving of being honored and respected.

A queen reflects the love and attention she receives openly back to her King, with admiration in her eyes and a warmth that reinforces appreciation for what he provides.

Men have non-negotiables for what they will and won’t accept in a relationship.

They rarely every adapt these to their women, they want what they want and they make sure they get it.

But women? Oh we’ll adapt our needs.

Can’t give me full commitment? What about half way, I’ll meet you there.

See? I can need less! Just love me!

Women, this has to stop.

There are good men, amazing men, who will meet all of your needs with peace in their heart, with a true desire to provide.

And it’s not even that the men who don’t show up are bad, but don’t spend your life in someone else’s waiting room.

Do not settle for scraps, for someone who can’t commit to having your back.

You deserve more.

Do not quiet yourself, be less, do not downplay your independence or confidence or success for a man who hasn’t yet found his way.

Men can take longer to find their purpose, women – we have no linear process to growth.

A man who is with a powerful woman will either be inspired by her and become her biggest cheerleader regardless of whether he has found his own purpose yet, or he will feel like less of a man and punish her for it by withdrawing support or love.

Us women are so many archetypes in one, our life stages are all mingled together.

Men aren’t that way. They have very specific life stages, and there’s nothing, I mean nothing you can say or do to change that.

So give up on trying to change someone’s mind about their ability to be what you need in a partner.

If they aren’t there, they aren’t there.

It wouldn’t matter if you were a supermodel or the Queen of England.

Believe him when he tells you he can’t be what you need.

Don’t hang on to empty promises, instead, stay true to who you are and what you want will come, effortlessly.

It’s partly true you know, what they say?

The one we marry isn’t so much about the who, but the timing.

We cannot blame a man for not being ready for us, but make no mistake, if he disrespects you, neglects you, puts you in a holding pattern or lacks communication – it is your responsibility to set the bar higher.

If you let him, he will continue the same behavior.

Have you ever wondered how some women seem to just have the “take no shit” policy in life?

You know the ones. A man did something hurtful that didn’t feel good and so they walked away, they didn’t question whether they could find someone else who would love them better, they knew they would, and they did, or they are doing just find on their own.

And this doesn’t mean there’s no such thing as second chances, people separate and come back together stronger, relationships go from bad to great – but the ones that do, have two people with both feet in.

Do not be the only one advocating for a successful relationship.

That’s like pushing a boulder up a hill, eventually you will be crushed.

Either choose a man who wants to go on the journey with you, or choose to be on your own and develop the heart and mind you need to be ready for him.

Because that man? He will be powerful too. In ways that are different from you, he too will have set a high bar for his life.

He will call you to grow and push you to your edge, bring you to new states of pleasure and deep states of emotion.

He will mirror your core wounds and hold space for your healing.

He will not run away. He will see truth in you, he will not cower, and he won’t back down.

Women, you are capable of developing a deep reverence for yourself, make self-respect and self-love your number one priority.

Make having a partner a life enhancement, not a necessity.

Because then, and only then, will you be able to take the blinders off and begin to see that is is actions, not words, that you deserve.

P.S. This was written from a gender specific heterosexual perspective as that is the only experience I have, but this applies to all human romantic relationships. Hugs and kisses to all.

 

Photo Credit and Copyright: The Essence Oracle

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Sheleana Aiyana

Creator, Founder at Rising Woman
Sheleana is a writer, mentor and conscious relationship coach. As the Creator and Founder of RisingWoman.com her intention is to uplift and inspire women to unravel their core truth for healthier, happier and more purposeful lives.
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